How to Combat the Dismissive Avoidant’s Defensiveness in Conflict When you’re in conflict with a Dismissive Avoidant (DA), remember: direct demands and ultimatums usually backfire. The DA nervous system is wired to perceive pressure as control, which triggers shutdown, defensiveness, or even stonewalling. Instead, try this: Lead with what feels good. Instead of saying “You never spend time with me”, reframe it into something affirming: ➡️ “I love it when we spend time together without our phones
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How to Combat the Dismissive Avoidant’s Defensiveness in Conflict When you’re in conflict with a Dismissive Avoidant (DA), remember: direct demands and ultimatums usually backfire. The DA nervous system is wired to perceive pressure as control, which triggers shutdown, defensiveness, or even stonewalling. Instead, try this: Lead with what feels good. Instead of saying “You never spend time with me”, reframe it into something affirming: ➡️ “I love it when we spend time together without our phones
55.3K viewsSep 16, 2025
FacebookDr. Sarah Hensley
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